Are you going to pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

One day we will look back and realize that the Barack Obama Presidency was the biggest fraud ever perpetrated on the American people.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.

Participating in a gun buy-back program because you think that criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you think your neighbors have too many kids.

A lot of people are realizing they had the wool pulled over their eyes by Obama.

Crimes against children are the most heinous crime. That, for me, would be a reason for capital punishment because children are innocent and need the guidance of an adult society.

Improvise, Adapt and Overcome!

We are like boxers, one never knows how much longer one has

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

My sister don't talk much. When she does, it's only to me, in moth-winged whispers, and only when we're alone.

I only want to write. I don't care about directing really. I've tried it and it was fun, but it's not like I have to.

If you rise in life, you have to behave in a certain way. You can go to a strip club if you're a beer-swilling sand shoveler, but if you're the Bishop of Boston, you shouldn't go.

For my own good. Anytime anyone had ever used those words to me, they hadn't had the slightest clue what ‘my own good’ truly was

I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari.

I'm a big bike fan - my homies got Harleys and all kind of choppers - but to be honest I'm scared to ride motorcycles like that.

Dead Max was the biggest oxymoron in history.

Running away for fear of death, leaving one's dear ones, temples or music to take care of themselves, is irreligion; it is cowardice.

The children of any nation are its future. A country, a movement, a person that does not value its youth and children does not deserve its future.

I love making things, like software, and films, and laughter. And working with Gus Silber, to make the Funny Business book, has been a fantastic journey.