And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

You look like a handsome young man…although you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?

Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Chicks dig a dude who’s sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

It was like seeing Bill Gates at age thirteen, times two. And half of him was wearing a cheerleader uniform. Yes, I know that’s a weird image.

There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)

Wrong thoughts pattern your life towards it for we live our thoughts.

A person who magnanimously exhibits their passion allows us to witness their authentic personality whereas a cold and calculating personality remains inscrutable.

Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you really strive to be better.

My goal has always been to slow down as slowly as possible. It's as simple as that.

The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever.

Afghanistan is going to be here a long time, and what's critical is that Afghanistan's relationship with its neighbors are, to the maximum extent they can be, constructive and operationally useful.

God gushed me out his nuts, the devil swallowed me up and I burnt a hole in his guts

The universe will fill your cup... if you carry a big cup, a little cup, or a thimble!

Those who have little shall have less, and that those who have much shall take all that others have left.