After years of patient study (and with cricket there can be no other kind), I have decided that there is nothing wrong with the game that the introduction of golf carts wouldn't fix in a hurry.

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

That's the trouble with losing your mind; by the time it's gone, it's too late to get it back.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Geologists are never at a loss for paperweights.

Of all the things I am not very good at, living in the real world is perhaps the most outstanding.

Physics is really nothing more than a search for ultimate simplicity, but so far all we have is a kind of elegant messiness.

Protons give an atom its identity, electrons its personality.

Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

So the world was nuts and he'd suddenly discovered a kink for geeks. There were worse things.

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

The biggest things in life have been achieved by people who, at the start, we would have judged crazy. And yet if they had not had these crazy ideas the world would have been more stupid.

Keep your tax-cutting, greedy hands off our medicare

Most women got this thing called compassion. It doesn't make them foolish, just more forgiving. More capable of trying and hoping things worked out.

I count absolutely no chickens before they're hatched. In fact, I assume they're all dead in their shells, inside their eggs.

Pure love makes you feel as light as a flower. You won't feel any heaviness or burden. Ego creates the burden.

We spend our whole lives recovering from high school.

Velocity is one thing, but the thing that worries me is my ball-strike ratio is about 1-to-1.