Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

Everyday feels the same and yet I crave sameness.Part of me wants to run away and be free.I feel trapped in my life I've created to protect myself.

There's something so remarkable in the intensity of taking care of somebody who can't take care of him or herself. And then watching that little person bloom into adolescence.

Sometimes we think we dislike flattery, but it is only the way it is done that we dislike.

The legs feed the wolf, gentlemen.

Is there no hope? the sick man said, The silent doctor shook his head, And took his leave with signs of sorrow, Despairing of his fee to-morrow.

If your neighbors did an analysis of your life, what would they learn about the kingdom?

I want to keep playing at the kind of level where I'll get respect from everybody.

A room full of hundreds, let alone thousands, of people is not my most fun thing in the world.

The first people I ever saw were probably Little Richard and Gene Vincent.

Education must award self-confidence, the courage to depend on one's own strength.