A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Everything we do means something.

When times get tough, and you are feeling isolated, remember that you are not alone.

What are stories for if we don't learn from them?

Every woman should have access to the healthcare that she needs.

From the crown of my head to the soles of my feet I am Bolshevik, and proud of it.

I began composing works which were imitative of the music I was being told about. I was also very interested in translating the music into visual terms.

Barack Obama is a very impressive human being.

My brother and I were meditating before we were 6 years old, having to stare at the wall and chant.

If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now.

Dialogue is used to reveal not what we want to say, but what we are trying to hide.