A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

When you're lost in space

Sometimes love cut so deep it causes terrible pain, or crosses paths with the joy of his present experiences.

If you were given one wish, what would you wish for? To wish no more.

My husband has no desire to work with me. He gets paid a lot of money to write giant movies. He's not into humoring me with my projects.

My first endeavor was to save the core of the German system of justice: the independent judiciary.

That realm is never long in quiet, where the ruler is a soldier.

Doing the easy thing makes you popular. Doing the hard thing makes you a leader.

People will always put you in a box that they think you fit in, and it's up to you to not fall into it.

Do good with what thou hast, or it will do thee no good.