[A primate ban] would force us to abandon research that could lead to treatments for Alzheimer's, motor neurone disease, strokes and many other illnesses

If you can not be a poet, be the poem.

You will find that the truth is often unpopular and the contest between agreeable fancy and disagreeable fact is unequal. For, in the vernacular, we Americans are suckers for good news.

What keeps people from living together is their stupidity, not their differences.

Everyone thinks I'm showing off when I talk, ridiculous when I'm silent, insolent when I answer, cunning when I have a good idea, lazy when I'm tired, selfish when I eat one bite more than I should.

I was a momma's boy. I didn't get anything from Dad, except my body and baseball knowledge. The only time I spent with him was at the ballpark.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

You don't need an introduction to succeed in life. You need to have good work. Work hard. Believe in yourself

I was very surprised that for a while I could only get cast as straight. It was that way for a few years.

Once the voices are in your head, it's either make a movie or kill a lot of people.