Quips Quotes

Quips Quote of the day

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

A thick skin is a gift from God.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Only the shallow know themselves.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

In the world of mules there are no rules.

Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.

India is a geographical term. It is no more a United Nation than the Equator.

Danger is the snack food of a true sleuth.

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

Worthless as wither'd weeds.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

If Roosevelt were alive he'd turn in his grave.

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practise law.

Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

Only two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

Oats n.s. A grain which in England is generally given to horses but in Scotland supports the people.

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away it is best to let him run.

He'd give the devil ulcers.

We also serve who only punctuate.

There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.

I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

In California everyone goes to a therapist is a therapist or is a therapist going to a therapist.

You can’t put a price on fun

Nothing succeeds like one's own successor.

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable.

Parsely is gharsley.

God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.

Shake a bridle over a Yorkshireman's grave and he'll rise and steal a horse.

Epitaph to a waiter: By and by God caught his eye.

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.

An indecent mind is a perpetual feast.

A man of words and not of deeds Is like a garden full of weeds.

Equal opportunity is good but special privilege even better.

I used to be snow-white . . . but I drifted.

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

If you can't bite don't show your teeth.

Geography is about maps But biography is about chaps.

'Are you lost daddy?' I asked tenderly. 'Shut up ' he explained.

A dimple in the chin a devil within.

Bland as a Jesuit sober as a hymn.