Humour Quotes
His desire for this to be a joke was quickly replaced by a desire for whiskey.
Max?' he asked.'Yeah?''...What are you doing?''Shooting people.
Odessa sighed. 'When I said you were one of the smartest people in the company, I was referring solely to your technical abilities. Now get to work.
Who gave you a gun?''The army.''Why?''That's what the army does, Simon.
He realised he was in a chair. The world was white and blurry in half his vision, and it took him a few moments to realise a sheet of paper was stuck to his face.
I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a shrill, choking warble.
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of being well-preserved, but to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, still screaming, 'Whoo what a ride!
I was never sure what possessed Guy and Teo, 2 alien princelings to land in Paris that day.
Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek.
This has serveral consequences, starting with screwing over most cryptography algorithms--translation: all your bank account are belong to us--
On a world where a common table implement is a little device with which you crack the ice that has formed on your drink between drafts, hot beer is a thing you come to appreciate.
He felt like a baked bean in a can, soaring through the air on a downward turn of a parabolic arc...
I grab at Smitty and he at me, and, for one horrible, deperately embarrassing second we fly into each others arms like Shaggy and Scooby Don't.
Now Leroux, what think youOf this twist to the story?
The feeling of 'turning into your dad' is nothing compared to the realisation that your son is turning into you.
Rebellion is all we'll be talking about. Love is revolution, a kind of coup d'état and cultural reprogramming in its own little way.
Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
Other married people have lived together and hated each other. Why shouldn't we? We may forget even to hate.
The sign of a good conscience is for a man to be in support of basically everything that Westboro Baptist isn't.
My philosophy in life is to eat, drink and investigate - in that order.
Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I’ll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I’m told, into God.” - Zorba.
I think this goat must have been fed on old boots, ' Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew.
And there shall come a kingdom in which the lion shall lie down with the lamb. Unfortunately for the lamb it shall be inside the lion!
Those that know, do not need explanations, and those that do not, would not understand any explanations.
The choices that women make sometimes seems provoking and at the same time amusing. I once met a lady who said she liked my amusing facial expression.
Holly girl, you are all too human, I can assure you. Prickly and awkward and human, because that's what witches are - human, that is, not necessarily the prickly and annoying bit. That's just you.
... a man aint so different from a horse or a mule, come long come short, except a mule or a horse has got a little more sense.
He jokingly thought that this guy fancied himself some kind of Jedi knight, waiting for him to say, 'these are not the droids you're looking for.
Never look in the mirror when your stressed it’s contagious
When the only exorcise you get is running for a bus, get more buses!
Try jogging when following your heart, it's healthier
When you think of the condition the world is in now you sometimes wish that Noah had missed the boat.