Humor Quotes
I prefer noodles when they're raw, they taste just as good, but reward you with a satisfying crunch...
He got a tan over break. I used to tell him he was so pale he looked like a marshmallow. He hated that I compared him to food. I told him that's what he got for calling me caramel. It shut him up.
If it's dive-bombing you from the air, bury yourself in the sand. It might lose sight of you. Also, no one likes to eat food covered in sand. No one.
Couldn't he have come out and greeted her like a civil human being instead of lurking from his kitchen while she shared a clearly intimate moment with his brisket?
Jocelyn’s stomach lodged another complaint with the management regarding the length of time since breakfast.
The body of the last Flealouse contained the flesh of everything that had ever lived. It was content.
So I didn't have time to craft artful lies and evasions even if I'd wanted to.
I would lay down my life for this ice cream.''Wow. That's an endorsement. If I ever decide to mass produce, I'll have to put that on the carton.
There's a great Lebanese restaurant a few blocks over. They have the best shawarma in the world." "What's shawarma?" "You know what a gyro is?" "No." "Same thing.
One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.
We are what no one wants to miss at the party. I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food.
The whole point of straws, I had thought, was that you did not have to set down the slice of pizza to suck a dose of Coke while reading a paperback.
Thin people, God bless them, God curse them, don't get it: If you're not thin, you need to be careful and conscious about when and how you suitors initially see you.
Damn, ' someone behind me says. 'I was hoping we would get to scrape some Stiff pancake off the pavement later.
I can tell by the look on Hagin's face that he had eaten some of my food. It is amazing those boys aren't fat.
In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie.
What's on the inside, beneath that sugar? Is it a bug? Is it a booger?
When you celebrate, there is sure to be cake."Florence Ditlow, in "The Bakery Girls.
Enjoy your Evening.""That will depend on the menu. If it's beef, it will be a tolerable meal. If it's chicken..." Elliot shuddered. "What is the point of chicken?""Eggs?
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
I was lucky to live in the 20th century, when gefilte fish could be purchased in a jar.
Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and honey!
Poor animals! How jealously they guard their pathetic bodies…that which to us is merely an evening’s meal, but to them is life itself.
The potatoes were starch grenades. The canned carrots were revolting because that is their nature.
I would love a sandwich, ' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches.
The French have the right respect for dogs--in France we chiens get to go to lunch and dinner anytime, anywhere.
It's woman's power, food is. You be sure you know where'n the hook is before swallerin' it, Dru. You mind me, now.
Blessed are you who sow. Every seed you so plant, will grow into bountiful crops for great harvest.
He didn’t care if I hated him, only that I did as I was told.
The greatest proof that the Bible is inspired is that it has withstood so much bad preaching!
Wanted: Steel toed Bible thumpers to reach a monster truck mad world.
After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word coun