Humor Quotes

The only French word I know is oui, which means “yes, ” and only recently did I learn it’s spelled o-​u-​i and not w-​e-​e.

Ah, ” said Magnus. “Nerd love. It is a beautiful thing, while also being an object of mockery and hilarity for those of us who are more sophisticated.

Life is like a box of chocolates.

Fate, " Blue replied, glowering at her mother, "is a very weighty word to throw around before breakfast.

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard.I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

Don't forget to give Neville our love!' Ginny told James as she hugged him.!' Neville-'James rolled his eyes.....

Five syllables, " Apollo said, counting them on his fingers. "That would be real bad.

Well, that's an evil smile...

I knew I could do it all this time, ” said Harry, “Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.

Right, " she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.

Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?""Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.

As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

Oh, look at that, he's heard of me. My fame grows.

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...

Pooh, " said Rabbit kindly, "you haven't any brain." "I know, " said Pooh humbly.

Are you any good at it?""Pulling idiots out of the snow? I'm the best.

But this room looked like it had been decorated by the unholy lovechild of Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake.

I wouldn't marry Giddon to save my life, " Katsa said. "Not even to save yours.""Well." Raffin's eyes were full of laughter. "I'd leave that part out.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.

In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.

The world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

I'm the warlock who's here to cure you. Didn't they tell you I was coming?"

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference.But laughing is exactly what I did.

Anxiety's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you very far.

I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword."She raised an eyebrow."Sharp as hell, " Lightsong said, "but lacking a point.

I've never stunned anyone except in our D.A. lessons, " said Luna, sounding mildly interested. "That was noisier than I thought it would be.

CONJUGATE THIS:

What ho!" I said."What ho!" said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will believeth in anything. - Hitchens 3:16

It is a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-""It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.

Fall off your own roof.

The baby batScreamed out in fright, 'Turn on the dark, I'm afraid of the light.

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

If you say ‘we’re in this together, ’ I’m going to hurl.

Why are they going to disappear him?'I don't know.'It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.

St. Clair clears his throat. 'My fiancée and I are headed out for a celebratory dessert. I'd ask you all to join us, but I don't want you there.

Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter, " said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.

Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.”Percy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first.

Haven't you ever heard of the saying, "If you want to shoot the general, first shoot the horse!"?' --LinIf you wanna shoot the general, then you should just SHOOT THE GENERAL!' --Ed

Now Darkstripe, ' Graypaw hissed to Firepaw under his breath, 'is neither young, nor pretty.