Humor Quotes

I almost feel like throwing Jimmy into the stove, as the priest in Kulenberg did.

I maintain that some Jew wrote it who probably heard about Christian people but never encountered any.

To be a Christian, you must pluck out the eye of reason.

The winds are nothing else but good or bad spirits. Hark! how the Devil is puffing and blowing.

The Devil, too, sometimes steals human children; it is not infrequent for him to carry away infants within the first six weeks after birth, and to substitute in their place imps.

The Devil...clutched hold of the miserable young man...and flew off with him through the ceiling, since which time nothing has been heard of him.

The Devil, it is true, is not exactly a doctor who has taken degrees, but he is very learned, very expert for all that. He has not been carrying on his business during thousands of years for nothing.

As a writer, you have control: You can play around with your own thoughts and when you find those insufficient, draw upon others': their wisdom, their humor, their failings.

My personal sense of humor is edgy, I would say more cable-like: words you're not allowed to say, ideas that the majority of people might say, "That's too risqué for me."

If you approach Cannes with a sense of humor, nothing is that bad. You have to take it for what it is; otherwise, its silly.

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.

I'm passionate about stories that have humanity, compassion and humor.

Fun is going to enhance interest, because people don't feel incompetent when they're having fun.

I don't know if anyone has ever mentioned this, we need to be careful with drugs! They're not just all fun and games! And of course poetry would be immeasurably worse without humor.

taste is like a sense of humor. I never met a person who didn't think they had one.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style. We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.

Dr. [Martin Luther] King was a human being. He had a sense of humor which was wonderful.

Coleman Jacoby and Arnie Rosen won an Emmy and Mel Brooks didn't! Niezsche was right! There is no God! There is no God!

It's like geographical humor. You just don't get it unless you were there.

I don't know how to describe my sense of humor.

As an actor I'm always interested in dialogue, the way the characters speak to each other. I also enjoy a bit of humor, especially when it's unexpected.

I was pretty much a child of Monty Python. I grew up loving that type of humor and even structured a lot of humor in the same fashion.

Experimenting with drugs is like target practice where your head is the bull's-eye.

I think a band that doesn't have a sense of humor can come up with their own take on whimsy.Kind of lead-footed and ham-handed, but I think just all the better for that.

Githa Hariharan's fiction is wonderful-full of subtleties and humor and tenderness.

Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes.

I love a sense of humor, I love intelligence, I love specificity, I love surprises. I'm inspired to get out of bed in the morning and fill my day with good things.

The great thing about university is that they incline you to get up and do it, from the Classics to modern plays, to the humor that Monty Pythons made popular.

If health and a fair day smile upon me, I am a very good fellow; if a corn trouble my toe, I am sullen, out of humor, and inaccessible.

Good painter imitates nature, bad ones spews it up.

My parents and I always put great emphasis on telling stories that appeal to a child's sense of humor.

I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees.

I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should be a computer programmer." I said, "You're bad... you should be a caveman."

My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.

I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'

Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.

They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."

I'm a compulsive everything.

I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.

I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me.

You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times.

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, "Gday Gday how you doing no worries next".

Good humor pokes fun at the powerful — not the weak.

Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.