Funny Quotes

Don’t be too nice to him, ” I teased. “He’ll never leave.

It was around then that the phone rang. It was my friend Cee Cee, wanting to know if I cared to join her and Adam McTavish at the Coffee Clutch to drink iced tea and talk bad about everyone we know.

Alas! Charles made the promise glibly, and forgot all about it.

Stop teasing you two, ” Suzy jumped in, “not all of Kathy’s ideas are wacky.”“Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD.

Well, ” Lynx said once the man was dead. “That was…uneventful.”“You’re as fickle as an old woman, ” Zeus told Lynx. “One minute too much carnage, the next not enough.

There's no way that you're real, ” she murmured to his crotch.

I had a dream that boys would act like men for once…then I woke up.

Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".

WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:In your case, ED is not a man's name.

Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.

Behind every successful woman, there's a big prick.

It is easy to launch a project if you have no clue about the cost and schedule.

The higher you rise in the business ladder, the smaller your balls become.

The business of lying is transacted in the abode of the gullible.

Any idiot can point out a problem. So, bosses do.

It doesn't matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn't cry.

I don't beg for those things which can be earned.

No kind of social system can make you more happier and secure than your own money.

If you think rightly, every problem is financial problem or eventually becomes one.

To the issues of friendship, love, business and war, "surprise" is the optimistic solution.

The first time I saw a mermaid in my dream, and she looked so real...THAT.'s fishy!!

Trust the vibes you get, energy doesn’t lie.

A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find a Christian Grey.

I have this condition I call impromptu senility. I can’t remember a damn thing when I don’t want to.

Good shot.”“Not really. I was aiming for his balls.

No, it’s fine. I know you’re late. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, but I’m going to be in and out all day.”“That’s what he said, ” she purred.

You’re sure? I thought I heard someone.”“Nope, not a soul, ” Blake said. “Get it. Soul. Because we’re in a church.

the cross had slipped back onto my chest. I unclasped it and after wrapping the chain around the metal, tucked it into my bra

I tucked the feather into my bra, then glanced up at the sudden heavy silence. “What?”Blake grinned. “What else you got in there? Can I see?”“Shut up, Blake!” said the rest of the boys.

I shot him daggers. Along with swords, scythes, scalpels, shivs, shanks, stilettos, and any other sharp weapon I could think of that began with an “s.

Son of a—Rora?” Blake slid out of the crater he’d just made in the wall. “Crap. What are you doing here?” He saw my wrist. “Handcuffs? I definitely want that story.

Blake hung an arm on my shoulders. “Alone at last.”“I’m right here, ” Logan said.“Maybe you shouldn’t be.

Hello little one. Did you know you're on private property?""Really? I had no idea." Meryn fudged. He raised an eyebrow. "The ten foot fence right behind you didn't give it away?

Brother Wolf gave Anna an amused look and then went back to being scary.

When he grew up, he wanted to be like Charles.

You should stay and keep me company, so I don't get lonely.”“You don't seem like the type of guy who gets lonely.”“Is that a compliment or an insult?”Analia only shrugged.

Cale! Have you had a female in here?”Calic laughed carelessly. “Depends on when you're referring to.

His appearance projected danger and reinforced the common knowledge that one did not want to piss off a demon, especially this one.

What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that youknow too much? You bolt. What did I do? I hyperventilated.

I glared at Christian as the blood smeared around. “You could have at least licked it.”He smirked darkly. “I hear that all too often.

Holy shit! Can we say unstable? Was I the only sane one around here? Well, I guess that really wasn’t setting the standard very high." -Ember, Darkness Of Light

I’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many.

Imogene always sitson the remote. It’s probably wedged between her butt cheeks.”“Should I go get a crowbar?

What do you think is the problem? You’re a cute kid-­‐uh, guy. Man. You’re a cuteman.

Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you.”“Because any other female would!

There is a point in the future where even the worst disaster starts to settle into an anecdote.

It seemed that it was not only live magicians which Mr. Norrell despised. He had taken the measure of all the dead ones too and found them wanting.