Funny Quotes
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
We tend to get a little information before we off people. It’s not a play by ear sort of deal.
Adam pressed his hand to his face. Sighed. "Right. It's just that… He died. And I'm so freaking pissed off, I swear I'd punch him in the face if he were standing right here.
That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself.
Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.
Most sane human beings who are over the age of six usually act or react not as per what they genuinely feel or really think but in accordance with the expectations of those around them.
What did you do before?” “I used to run a lot.”“Cross country? Track?”“From the cops, actually.
Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.
Greed is a contagious mental illness without which civilization as we know it would not have been possible.
Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.
The last time everyone loved or at least liked everyone was when the world had a population of about 4.
In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.
Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.
There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.
As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.
Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Some people hate people who are overconfident, only because their overconfidence reminds them of their underconfidence.
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.
Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.
A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.
Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.
Most of us cling to life as if our existence were a result of our deed or choice.
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.
Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.
Фанатиците винаги имат един такъв раздърпан, опулен вид. Приличат на хора, които не мастурбират, но непрекъснато мислят за това.
Hands can cook, hands can create, hands can kill. There is no better tool than our hands.
Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually.
I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it
Otter! Otter! Otter!Don’t lead cows to slaughter!I love you, and I knowI should’ve told you soon-aBut you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna!
Crystal ball and candle light, I want your dance tonight. Show me the power of love as we stand together in the middle of the night.
Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey
I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.
I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.
A good approach is to allow one dream per novel. Then, in the final revision, go back and get rid of that, too.
There is little more I can add short of dissecting the man, or going into intimate details such as the modest proportions and slight southeasterly curvature of his manhood.
Once a Buddha, always a Buddha, Sam. Dust off some of your old parables. You have about fifteen minutes.' Sam held out his hand. "Give me some tobacco and a paper.
He started to wonder if maybe they had been raptured while he was in school. He always worried the Lord would show up when he wasn't around. Or when he was on the toilet, taking care of a number two.
It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.
You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.