Funny Quotes

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

All the religions are super funny to me.

It's funny, the whole cooking thing came out of just a random thought of writing a cookbook with my mom and my sister for fun.

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk wasnt some serious song, but it was huge! It was funny.

When life gets you down, just remember these three words of wisdom. "Bonk!", "Zap!", and "Yowsers!"

Well, life is dark, isn't it? Mostly, it's dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it.

I think it's funny how people get confused when they think about church music, because a lot of times there is a soloist who stands out, but my church wasn't like that at all.

I am always drawn to men that are funny. I do not know why. But I am always drawn to people that are struggling with parts of themselves... But it's like in the end, there has to be confidence.

There is only one kind of life insurance, and that is pure protection based on a mortality table. All others are pure protection plus a cash value element that I call 'funny' banking.

Bridal is always about who you are as a person and as a woman and as a lover and as a mate. People always ask me how a woman can pick just one dress. And the funny thing is they always know.

The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!

It's funny when you put music up against picture, and all your preconceptions go away, and you start over. You just realize that that doesn't work at all.

Funny how we look for miracles in our lives when our life is one big miracle in itself.

I love to make movies about young people - young scientists that are inventing things and all the writing they did was very funny and very true.

All of the films I'm doing are young, urban, high-concept, funny films. That's the zone where I'd like to play and have fun in.

I am inspired by the films of Pedro Almodóvar, as they are funny, sad, and extremely weird.

If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.

Some things just strike me as funny. The way things play out just makes me laugh sometimes. It drives my wife crazy sometimes because I'll just be laughing for no reason.

I'm kind of the funny guy that hopefully kind of wins your heart if I did my job.

I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.

Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.

I'm really funny now.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Once (Stan) Musial timed your fastball, your infielders were in jeopardy.

What happens, I think, is especially for comic effect you find something about yourself that you don't like. You exaggerate it, and it's funny.

It’s funny to hear priests and nuns argue with each other.

I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.

I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you.

being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness.

All I want to do is write songs about funny characters I made up.

Hurry up and learn patience.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny.

There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.

Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

The only man you will ever get is some fool named Grady who falls asleep in his soup.

Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem?

It was the love of love, the love of swallows up all else, a grateful love, a love of natural, of people, of animals, a love ingengering gentleness and goodness that moved meand that I saw in you

Every man plays the fool once in his live, but to marry is playing the fool all one's life long.