Funny Quotes

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

It's hard to program a computer to make jokes. The brain needs to do something here; the brain needs to come up with something bizarre to make something funny.

It's really funny, I think to myself... I've got my same guitar and amp, it's just a bigger room now! Some things don't change.

I performed at Mom and Dad's party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself!

Did you write the words, or the lyrics?

I'm gonna pray for him.

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.

A lot of reality shows tend to harp on the negative. The person isn't pretty enough or can't sing well enough or maybe isn't even funny enough.

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

It's funny... musical theater is what paid my rent and kept me going for the longest time.

Looking back, it's funny how the lighter family-friendly version of these classic Universal movie monsters that were satirized in The Munsters seduced me like a gateway drug into the genre.

If it's dirty, it's not funny, but if it's funny, it's not dirty.

Why would they have gone to the trouble to hire the best comedy writers in the business to write funny material for us to play straight, if the children in our audience were the only audience.

I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid, and was always doing bits for my friends and family.

I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn't able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on 'E.R.' That's not generally thought of as a funny show.

As an actor, it's always fun when you're able to feel like there's freedom to explore things and try out jokes and be funny.

Even though I do a more traditional type of being funny on television, I still know a lot of comedians and stand-ups and improv actors.

I just like working with people that I respect and think are really funny.

Funny, when i was a little boy I wanted to be good. But I could never seem to manage it somehow. And if you're not good, the good people will throw you to the wolves. So you might as well just be bad

I'm not ashamed of being a bubbly, funny person. I think that's as valid as being the dark, brooding, tortured Oscar-nominated one.

It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

I can't say that period talk is my favorite bonding arena. But I also think it's sort of funny.

I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

Robert Hoffman is kind of infamous for beinga prankster, funny guy.

The accents are really really funny. I think I could convince somebody I was from New Zealand.

American comedies about Asians have never been funny to me. That always kind of pissed me off.

I like kissing people because it's funny.

I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline.

Raphael snapped, "This isn't funny." "That's why no one's laughing." -Raphael & Jace, pg.272-

very funny my sarcastic friend

And write what you love - dont feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be funny. You're a reader as well as a writer, so write what you'd want to read.

Raphael snapped, "This isn't funny." "That's why no one's laughing." Jace stood, hauling Raphael upright, jamming the tip of his knife between Raphael's shoulder blades.

I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man.

I strike fear into you because I am a man?" "It isn't funny." "I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing.

People are always surprised that I have a funny side because I'm usually so intense, strong and dramatic. But, I'd love to do something really, really silly and funny.

You can never be too paranoid.

Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny.

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that.

She appears to have a face that would stop a clock and raise hell with small watches, bless her heart.

To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!

I'm just saying stupid, funny things when I'm hanging out on the TV show. When I'm making music I'm in a completely different zone.

I learned to dance at quinceañeras - big [15th] birthday parties for Spanish girls. It was always funny to bring the white guy out [on the floor] and let him look like a fool.

It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey.

Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive.