Terry Pratchett Quotes

IT'S THE EXPRESSION ON THEIR LITTLE FACES I LIKE, said the Hogfather. "You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?" YES. NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL BELIEF.

He'd been an angel once. He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people.

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.

It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret. [Fred. Free.]

There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.

The thing is, I mean, there’s times when you look at the universe and you think, “What about me?” and you can just hear the universe replying, “Well, what about you?”

He said it was better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.

Even our fears make us feel important, because we fear we might not be.

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.

On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.

In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.

Learnin’ how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them.

But then science is nothing but a series of questions that lead to more questions.

Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.

I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost.

Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.

Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Never tae find it is misery.

OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR?

Esk felt that bravery was called for, but on a night like this bravery lasted only as long as a candle stayed alight.

It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.

The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.

I believe it should be possible for someone stricken with a serious and ultimately fatal illness to choose to die peacefully with medical help, rather than suffer.

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.

Anger is wonderful. It keeps you going. I'm angry about bankers. About the government.

Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!

Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?

By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom.

Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.

I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV.

The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.

The mountains of madness have many little plateau of sanity.

He never pays attention, he always knows the answer, and he can never tell you how he knows. We can't keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There's no educating a smart boy.

The thing with crowns is, it isn't the putting them on that's the problem, it's the taking them off.