Terry Pratchett Quotes

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.

Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.

Drinks like this tend to get called Traffic Lights or Rainbow's Revenge or, in places where truth is more highly valued, Hello and Good-Bye, Mr. Brain Cell.

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force.

They obeyed, as wise men do when a woman puts her foot down . . .

When people say "clearly" something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all.

After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.

And he dreamed the dream of all those who publish books, which was to have so much gold in your pockets that you would have to employ two people just to hold your trousers up.

People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people.

Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions; you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.

Carpe Jugulum," read Agnes aloud. "That's... well, Carpe Diem is 'Sieze the Day,' so this means-" "Go for the throat

...no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.

We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?

Please give us a simple answer, so that we don't have to think, because if we think, we might find answers that don't fit the way we want the world to be

... all reputable falconers agreed that for hunting purposes the only way you could reliably bring down prey with a wowhawk was by using it in a slingshot.

We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

I'd like to walk on the moon (and return).

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.

I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.

You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day.

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.

I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!

Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.

If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.

I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.

When she spoke again it was in the thin, careful and above all brave voice of someone who has pulled themselves together despite overwhelming odds but might let go again at any moment.

I dinna trust him," said Slightly Mad Angus. "He reads books an' such.

One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

But I think you have a right to know what it is you’re not being told.

Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought.

Knowing how bad you could be is a great encouragement to being good.

When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!

This was the definition of eternity; it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.

Everything is a test.

Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth.

It's amazing how fast gold works.

Humans can think inhuman thoughts.

Seeing things a human shouldn't have to see makes us human.

People are bound to get excited when they see a ten-million-ton starship trying to fly down the street.

- I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! - No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.

Legends don't have to make sense. They just have to be beautiful. Or at least interesting.

The librarians were mysterious. It was said they could tell what book you needed just by looking at you, and they could take your voice away with a word.

Magic never dies. It merely fades away.

‎No one remembers the singer. The song remains.