Spike Milligan Quotes

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse

Render any politician down and there's enough fat to fry an egg.

It was a perfect marrige. She didn't want to and he couldn't

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive.

A lot of learning canbe a little thing.

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

I told you I was sick.

I'm a hero wid coward's legs, I'm a hero from the waist up.

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".

Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare but then I thought Why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create something in terms of poetry.