It was a perfect marrige. She didn't want to and he couldn't

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Every show that comes out that's female driven is compared to the last female-driven show, as if it's taking over.

The way I see it, commercial interests should manage a lunar base while NASA gets on with the really important task of flying to Mars.

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.

The visible world only becomes the real world by the operation of thought

If you want to become a fossil, you need to die somewhere where your bones will be rapidly buried. You then hope that the Earth moves in such a way as to bring the bones back up to the surface.

You just keep moving forward and doing what you do, and hope that it resonates with people. And if it doesn't, you just keep moving on until you find a project that does.

The depth of learning is in direct relation to the intensity of the experience.

Either you set your goals and, in doing so, have your life governed by choice or you do nothing and have your life governed by chance.

I'm not even reading about the U.S. election, I'm just totally involved in the Canadian one.

I have some weak poems in that new collection, which is why I'm not ready to send the collection out yet.