Shaquille O'Neal Quotes

I'm a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that's how I am. I'm true.

I don't take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

I just said to myself, 'Damn, I'm a great player.'

As a military child I first learned how to deal with different types of people and how to deal with order.

I'm the LCL - the Last Center Left. I've been doing the same things for 13 years, but now they're flopping and falling, and the refs are falling for it, too.

They are that same group, but I've got my own rivalristic problems. Is that a word, rivalristic? I've got my own rivalristic problems in the Eastern Conference.

I don't know. I don't have a fax machine, so I didn't get that message.

I don't know their names. Their names have been erased from my memory banks. If I tried to bring 'em back, I'd get shocked.

I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love.

That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please.

There is nothing to say because I know everything about him. I raised him. I know what's a charade, and I know what's not a charade. I'll leave it at that.

Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn't I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?

We had more great times than bad times together, but they've moved on, I've moved on. I have a new team now and I have a new focus.

I'm probably going to have to go with Kobester. He's an assassin with LeBron coming right after.

Most ferocious was Kobe. Fiercest, most competitive, it was Kobe. D Wade is second after that.

I didn't say anything. Got nothing to say. I'm a married man; I don't need a relationship with another man.

You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn't do without me.

I wouldn't. I would just go home. I'd fake an injury or something.

I'll beat you up right now if you want me to.

The East is going to be pretty easy for me. The Great Chest of the West becomes the Great Beast of the East.

I don't have to make a point. I'm George Bush. I'm the president. I built that arena, so I don't have to make a point.

I told my wife the other day, I'm the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.

He doesn't need advice on how to play his position, but he needs advice on how to play team ball... If it's going to be my team, I'll voice my opinion. If he don't like it, he can opt out.

How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says?

This is my disguise, but it doesn't work.

That has nothing to do with basketball. That's just because I'm sexy.

I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.

It's t'ai chi every time. I'm using your positive energy, and I'm blowing off it. See, most guys can't push, they got to lean. When they lean, I spin.

I don't ever want to grow up. I guess I'm like Peter Pan. Grown-ups have problems. I want to stay happy.

I'm sort of like a specialist. I go in, do what I do and every four years, they get tired of me and I have to relocate myself.

I've been the type of person [and] the type of athlete, I don't like to be given anything. I like to earn.

That's what I do. I get in and get under people's skin and all that stuff. But you will remember me - and that's all that matters.

As a man, you got to know how to take it, so I just took it.

He's got a ring, so I'm taking home the trophy.

It means I don't have to charter that big jet for the family.

I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.

Write this: Since my boy is the coach, I'm going to try out for the Dolphins next year. Tight end.

Finally, I have someone that's like me. My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on.

I'd like to thank everyone who voted for me. And the one guy who didn't vote for me, thank you, too.

I told my wife when I was rolling up, I felt like the president.

I got it, I dove on the floor, he dove on my head and I hit my teeth on the ground. It was just one of my police reactions to get that criminal off me.

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

That dude scored 8 points in the last 19 seconds, pulled out a miracle win at the Garden. He made me choke on a chicken bone that day. I'm serious.

Like I've always said, what's hot must go cold.

Now, if you're an NBA fan, you know what Vince Carter did. I came up with a line about him: 'Half-man, half-amazing.'

You're messing up my highlights.

Now, the mistakes that I made with my other two sons, Penny and Kobe, I won't make with D-Wade. We can't let them break us up and we can't break each other up.

It's a different role for me, playing with the great Dwyane Wade.

I think it was 89.2% cheers and 11.8% boos, but I'm used to that.

The two top teams with nice weather and nice people were Dallas and Miami. Of course, the Lakers wouldn't want to trade me in the same conference, so Miami was perfect.