Shaquille O'Neal Quotes

Well, I don't remember all the names of all the clubs we went to

Win or lose, I am programmed to do more. That's because I am the other son of Jorel - Superman.

A lot of coaches play percentages when it comes to me, but that's just a way of saying that you can't stop me.

Someday I might have to put down a basketball and have a regular 9-to-5 like everybody else.

I'm not worried about facing the Sacramento Queens. Write it down. Take a picture. I'm not going to talk about this all year. When I get back, there's going to be trouble.

Talk to the guys that ain't doing nothing, don't talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.

If I get that thing down there in that area, that's 67% lifetime. If you don't believe me, Google it. I'm on the Internet.

Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.'

Everybody talks about being a role model. But if you look up the word 'role' in a dictionary, it describes playing a part. Everything I'm into, it's real to me. There's nothing fake about it.

I'd heard stuff from out there that I was just another player, that I was too young. I wanted to show I could play with anybody.

Somebody out there was trying to use my language and trying to speak for me. Rather than have that happen, I thought I'd do it myself. It's a fun thing. It's a way for fans to connect.

Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?

I... am... the son of Jor-El!

I'm a mama's boy above all.

The Miami Heat has the best fans.

I'll hit them when it matters.

Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.

Why aren't the Nets playing in Newark?

That was a foul, young lady. You know that was a foul. Don't ask dumb questions.

Shaquille O'Neal has always been one to speak the truth.

He is an old glove, but he looked like the old Glove.

Get your tickets now. Buy cable now. Get your jerseys now. Pull your boats up to the docking stations now. Bring your Sea-Doos now. If you can't afford a Sea-Doo, get a raft.

I've been playing on Christmas for the last 10, 11, 12 years. So just got to get up early with the babies, and give them their toys and try to get a nap in and just come to play.

I'm a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way.

I think he got an incidental elbow in the face, messed up his pretty red lips a little bit. But other than that he'll be fine.

You always have to take care of the sisters first, so my dad would buy Barbies and stuff and I wouldn't get anything. So I don't want any other kid to feel like that.

There was not too much to do as a kid when we arrived in Germany. Playing basketball and listening to music gave me something to do.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.

They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

Being the best right now doesn't do anything for my feathers.

I'm one year older, one year sexier - one more, baby. For me, it's all about the bigger picture. We want to win the whole thing. We've got to beat whoever is in our way.

When you feed the big dog, it does whatever you tell him to do.

You have to foul me to stop me, period.

If I don't get five [titles], I won't be happy with myself as a basketball player. I don't know how you guys will feel about me.

I respect the older guys.

I'll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don't know what comes after century.

Remember this-I'm going to bring a championship to Miami. I promise.

Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.'

I said it jokingly, so this guy was just trying to stir something up that's not there. He's just somebody who doesn't have a sense of humor, like I do.

I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty.

I'm the last in the line of Russells and Chamberlains.

I told our guys they must not have cable because Antoine Walker knows how to play, Derek Anderson can play, Shandon Anderson knows how to play, and Gary Payton knows how play.

They want to beat the Don Dadda. It means, 'The Man.'

It gets bigger every time you go over. In China, there was Yao Ming stuff everywhere. I'm just fortunate to have a good-looking face to where they recognize me.

The first movie [Grown Ups], people loved it and we felt that there were so many characters and so many good comic situations that there was enough material leftover for us to do a sequel.

It's over now. He said what he had to say, I said what I had to say. Don't play with me. Seriously, don't play with me.

And if the big dog ain't me, then the house won't get guarded - period.