Sarah Quotes

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.

I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.

I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.

I'm a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you're a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that's the less stressful thing to watch.

I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive.

I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.

I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.

Everyone's got their own velocity, and there's no real time frame with comedy.

If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one of God's chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.

I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.

This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.

I can get a script and go, "Well, I'd rather do stand-up." I don't hold movies in higher regard. I love making videos and posting. I love TV.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.

You want the actors to disappear into roles and stay under the radar, and that gets harder when someone is known for their actual personality, or who they seem to be.

I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.

I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful. I mean, I live in a three-room apartment. I mostly make free videos on my couch. But I am fine.

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.

If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.

I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.

I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.

I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.

Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.

I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.

I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it.

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.

Running will make you stronger, more disciplined & clear headed all of which will improve your professional output & expand your self-faith

There's a good old boys' network out there that's hard to penetrate and it's not always in the best interest of the party or for conservative principles.

I'm a working mom. I've been working since I was 14 years old.

I'm an economist by training. And I know that what works is a permanent increase in buying power.

What narrative journalism does is create a language or open up a space where someone can say, "Oh, this happened to me, too."