Mark Twain Quotes
To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, "Our Country, right or wrong," and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.
The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.
In Austria an editor who can write well is valuable, but he is not likely to remain so unless he can handle a sabre with charm.
Being made merely in the image of God but not otherwise resembling him enough to be mistaken by anybody but a very near sighted person.
The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color.
It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.
Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
Which is him?" The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.
When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
She kept up her compliments, and I kept up my determination to deserve them or die.
I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'
The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation.
I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind hearted, fat, benevolent people do.
There is no other life; life itself is only a vision and a dream for nothing exists but space and you. If there was an all-powerful God, he would have made all good, and no bad.
I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.
Life ain't about how fast you run or how high you climb, It's all about how good you bounce. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
