Mark Twain, Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World Quotes
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
I find that, as a rule, when a thing is a wonder to us it is not because of what we see in it, but because of what others have seen in it. We get almost all our wonders at second hand.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.
The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.