Jerry Quotes

Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.

Fear of failure, it's the greatest motivational tool. It drives me and drives me and drives me.

I guess I've always been a groupie. My first date was a bull rider called Tommy Lee Bryant. We'd go to the rodeo every Saturday and Sunday. The bull riders were the cool guys.

Sports gives us the grandest opportunity of all to talk about reaching down and helping up or getting on somebody else's shoulders.

I paid more for the Dallas Cowboys than anyone prior than that had ever paid to get involved in sports. But I wanted to be a part of the future of the Dallas Cowboys.

Let's face it: in advertising, you are paid more, but you die younger. It's not very forgiving. Like sports stars, you're in it during your better years, and then you're out looking for work.

I only had one player in my 33 years of sports that couldn't be traded. He wore No. 23 - and 45 when he played baseball.

We strongly believe that children should not be exposed to smokeless tobacco or see such products being used by their on-field sports heroes.

That's the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me.

One of the most difficult speeches to prepare is an address to a graduation class, which is why I don't often do them.

I think it's real easy to be famous these days it's not real easy to sustain success.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

Dad was always that way: who's the candidate that's best for this country? We can debate theology later - that was his famous line. I kind of feel like that's in my DNA.

This is a global fight to get the right people in the right place and we're talking about people with PhDs in engineering, computer science, mathematics.

It's not our job to choose the best Sunday school teacher, like Jimmy Carter was. It's our job to choose who would defend and protect our nation, who would be the best president.

I ask myself why I do it. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

My grandmother would start making her meat sauce at 7 in the morning on Sunday, and within five or six hours, that smell would be all through the house.

I treat politics kind of like my religion. It's something I believe in, but I don't want to have to make a living at it, because if you make a living at it, you somehow become dishonest.

We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

Companies such as Microsoft, Cisco and Intel were just starting at their 10-year anniversary.

We used to go to Studio 54 - an amazing place.

The only way to break out is to gamble - take a chance with that first pick if you wanna dramatically improve your team.

Other people - they practice and they practice... these fingers of mine, they got brains in 'em. You don't tell them what to do - they do it. God given talent.

I believe the United States is very sick financially and might not survive another four years of Obama-style leadership.

Yahoo is in everything from pets to old people to finance to communications to e-commerce and more, and I really thrive on that.

College was especially sweet because of the positive, hopeful atmosphere of a college campus.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

My mother and my sisters - five girls - were crazy about glamour and Hollywood movies. I styled myself on Veronica Lake and Marlene Dietrich.

Divorce is not the end of the world. It's worse to stay in an unhealthy marriage. That's a worse example for the children.

Getting a divorce is always horrible because you feel you've failed. Everyone hates to give up on a marriage. You think your family's broken up.

My first marriage ended after 24 years.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

Ideas come from ordinary, everyday life. And from imagination. And from feelings. And from memories. Memories of dust in my sneakers and humming whitewalls down a hill called Monkey.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

So few people read poetry. That's sad, isn't it?

Sad to say, negative advertising really works.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

We're basically after Joe's beer money, and Joe likes his beer, so you better make sure that what you give him is at least as pleasurable to him as having his six-pack of beer would be.

I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.

This Nation has realized significant environmental improvements over the last three decades.

I admit my view of the world is colored by my legal and business experiences at Liberty.