the average man does not want to be free. he simply wants to be safe.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Many people are living unhappily because they keep trying to experience happiness without evicting the negative thoughts and beliefs that are vandalizing their minds.

Chin up, and we'll drown a little slower.

I dont think being black has held me back at all. Being black makes you strong.

Thousands of Americans have been killed by illegal immigrants.

As long as in love there is "you" and "me," love is not fully kindled.

The Ladybug wears no disguises. She is just what she advertises. A speckled spectacle of spring, A fashion statement on the wing.... A miniature orange kite. A tiny dot-to-dot delight.

I always knew I belonged on the other side of the lens.

I'm a massive fan of the Stones, and I don't think anybody should deny them the right to carry on making music. I just wish they wouldn't wear leggings.

Conservative talk radio works because there are lots of conservatives who are convinced that they are not getting the whole story from the regular media.

The one mistake which is committed habitually by people who have the gift of half-genius, is waiting for inspiration.