Douglas Adams Quotes

Let us be dreamers, thinkers, speculative philosophers, or as our spouses would have it: Idiots

Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet.

I come in peace...Take me to your lizard.

Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?

The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome.

Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?

I think all cats are wild. They only act tame if there´s a saucer of milk in it for them.

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity — distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.

What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15:37 flight to Oslo?

I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous.

Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.

42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.

The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn’t care.

If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.

Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.

"What's up?" "I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

Please relax," said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, "you are perfectly safe.

I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.

The bird that would soar above the plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings.

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.

If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.

There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature, but, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit.

Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.

The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.

To boldly split infinitives that no man had split before.

Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?

Could be. I’m a pretty dangerous dude when I’m cornered.” “Yeah,” said the voice from under the table, “you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.

It's good to leave your room super-messy when you're away. Whoever tries to break into your room will thought it has already been ransacked.

In cases of major discrepancy its always reality thats got it wrong ... reality is frequently inaccurate.

Don't spin your wheels and stress. Take a deep breath, center yourself and make a plan.

He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries.

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill.

For as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.

The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

In an infinite Universe anything can happen.

Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them round to dinner.

I am rarely happier than when spending entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand.