Alan Jay Lerner Quotes

Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shining moment, that was known as Camelot.

Coughing in the theater is not a respiratory ailment. It is a criticism.

I'm getting married in the morning! / Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime. / Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper! / But get me to the church on time!.

It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

You write a hit the same way you write a flop.

The winter is forbidden till December, And exits March the second on the dot. By order summer lingers through September In Camelot.

Youth has many glories, but judgement is not one of them, and no amount of electronic amplification can turn a belch into an aria.

Stay close to the young... and a little rubs off.

Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing over here, but it sounds better in French.

You see what happens today. Women act like men and want to be treated like women.

Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair; Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that?

There's a smile on my face for the whole human race.

I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before.

Pleasure without joy is as hollow as passion without tenderness.

Lots of cosy sky That God and I can share. I need air. I need air.

All to often, however, what she [the woman] does want is the man she hopes she will make out of the man she already has.

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

We met at nine We met at eight I was on time No, you were late Ah yes! I remember it well.

There even are places where English completely disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years! Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

England still will be here without you.

Men die but an idea does not.

Mud can make you prisoner and the plains can make you dry. Snow can burn your eyes but only people make you cry.

An Englishmans way of speaking absolutely classifies him.

I could have danced all night!

Thank heaven for little girls! For little girls get bigger every day.

A schedule so tight that it would only work if I didn't sleep on Monday nights.

Youth I Stay close to the young and a little rubs off.

Oozing charm from every pore He oiled his way around the floor.