...my little blurb wasn't going to win me any speaker-of-the-year awards, but at least I hadn't tripped and fallen off the stage, crushing and killing three elderly jazz fans.

I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

You look like a handsome young man…although you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?

Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Chicks dig a dude who’s sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

It was like seeing Bill Gates at age thirteen, times two. And half of him was wearing a cheerleader uniform. Yes, I know that’s a weird image.

There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love. My middle name is Love. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. I want to have a family and children. I am a sucker for every romantic comedy that comes out.

I think there is a longing in everyone for a personal relationship with God.

I regularly buy and sell cars, but I do not buy and sell fleets.

Health is survival. But survival with style and class.

We are always children to our mothers.

Heart of my heart, were it more, More would be laid at your feet.

The eradication of anti-personnel mines around the world is one of the most important tasks facing the international community.

Mistakes are doorways to discovery.

I rarely hit home runs in batting practice, and usually when I do feel that good, I'll have a bad game.