You should never trust anyone who listens to Mahler before they're forty.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

--anger because pain would drown me without the protective shell.

I will go around the space shuttle and give a guided tour of the major areas and describe what is done in each area. This will be called The Ultimate Field Trip.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

Change of habit cannot alter Nature.

I am confident. I never give up.

He's got to bring something stronger than that. That's like bringing milk to a bar, it's not strong enough

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I don't think people in power have the potential to do anything like that to me. I feel as though as long as our music is available, folks are going to hear it.

Who would be a poor man, a beggar man, a thief, if he held a rich man in his hand?

The egg of a bird hatches only when the chick within is ready