You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

It's a funny kind of month, October. For the really keen cricket fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.

There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.

What is a harp but an oversized cheese slicer with cultural pretensions?

Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.

Maybe, it is easier to forget the past, than to overcome the pain caused by it.Maybe, it is one of some other reasons, why men forget their prehuman ancestor.

Your Eyes Travel a Thousand Miles, But your mind will travel even more

Do not trust the cheering, for those persons would shout as much if you or I were going to be hanged.

[During the Renaissance] the Italians said, "We are one in the Father: we will go back." The Northern races said, "We are one in Christ, we will go on.

I think we do need better training programs, we do need a way to get people from careers that are dead-end into new careers.

All who remember their childhood remember the strange vague sense, when some new experience came, that everything else was going to be changed, and that there would be no lapse into the old monotony.

It is atheism and blasphemy to dispute what God can do: good Christians content themselves with His will revealed in His Word.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU ACHIEVE, EVERY SEASON IS A NEW SEASON. WHAT YOU ACHIEVED THE SEASON BEFORE IS NO LONGER RELEVANT.

I will never forget my humble beginnings as a Laker Girl. It was probably one of the most fun jobs I ever had.

Turkey is the gateway to the east for Europe, and the gateway to Europe for the east. We have a bridging function that Europe shouldn't underestimate.