Yeah, I spent about 20 years in a dorm room. It took me a while to graduate.

Become the kind of person the kind of person you would like to marry would like to marry.

To say that someone is a conservative does not tell us what he is interested in conserving.

Beware of anyone who claims to be neutral, for they always have an agenda.

I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

But for you to make this move would reveal the two fundamental tenets of true atheism. One: There is no God. Two: I hate Him.

Education is the process of selling someone on books.

Immodest and attractive is easy. Modest and repulsive is easy too. But modest and attractive is an art form.

If no God, mankind is a set of bi-pedal carbon units of mostly water. And nothing else

Masculinity is the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility.

I'm having the time of my life and I'm glad people are enjoy it.

We are stardust brought to life, then empowered by the universe to figure itself out—and we have only just begun.

Leaders don’t step on toes of dwarfs. They mount shoulders of giants.

I give up my control, God guide my step in every circumstance.

We are a sum total of what we have learned from all who have taught us, both great and small.

People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

The only thing I can cheer for in Philadelphia is the national anthem.

I'd like to see the high schools put in a rule that limits recruitable athletes from playing on teams outside a 100-mile radius from their home or school.

Why was I born, if it wasn't forever?

Men resemble the gods in nothing so much as in doing good to their fellow creatures.

I have an 800 freephone number now that I call if I get the urge to buy an airline stock. I call at two in the morning and I say: "My name is Warren and I'm an aeroholic." And then they talk me down.