Where there's smoke, there's bound to be mirrors.

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.

That's what fiction writers do: create characters and do terrible things to them for the entertainment of others. If they feel guilty enough, they write happy endings.

Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery.

Freedom should always be discussed within the context of responsibility.

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises that most of us live with.

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

I'm still passionately interested in what my fellow humans are up to. For me, a day spent monitoring the passing parade is a day well-spent.

At college my three main interests were - in descending order of importance - a steady supply of recreational drugs, a 2-S draft deferment, and overthrowing the Nixon administration.

Sacrifice is at the heart of repentance. Without deeds, your apology is worthless.

In his dealings with the world, the gentleman is not invariably for or against anything. He is on the side of what is moral.

Of all our faults, the one that we excuse most easily is idleness.

A pack of jackasses led by a lion is superior to a pack of lions led by a jackass.

I love forms beyond my own, and regret the borders between us

The money turned me into a monster

Not conceding a goal at home is always important in a Cup tie. But despite that there is no doubt that this tie is still wide open.

I am gagged and imprisoned. I can't even speak. I want to kick a football in a park with my son. Ordinary, banal life: my impossible dream.

It can't always be a honeymoon

We are the only nation where paper is still the mainstay in the private insurance industry.