Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.

That's what fiction writers do: create characters and do terrible things to them for the entertainment of others. If they feel guilty enough, they write happy endings.

Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right combination of insecurity, exercise, bulimia and surgery.

Freedom should always be discussed within the context of responsibility.

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises that most of us live with.

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

I'm still passionately interested in what my fellow humans are up to. For me, a day spent monitoring the passing parade is a day well-spent.

At college my three main interests were - in descending order of importance - a steady supply of recreational drugs, a 2-S draft deferment, and overthrowing the Nixon administration.

Where there's smoke, there's bound to be mirrors.

Wisdom delights in water; love delights in hills. Wisdom is stirring; love is quiet. Wisdom is merry; love grows old.

I don't like nihilistic characters. As bad guys they're great, but as heroes they don't work.

Painting today is pure intuition and luck and taking advantage of what happens when you splash the stuff down.

Never play anything that don't sound right. You might not make any money, but at least you won't get hostile with yourself.

I've been learning martial arts since I was 8 years old.

My faith doesn't go over real well in Hollywood.

God will defeat the great infidels.

Sometimes I just play the theme from Arthur. It reminds me of my childhood in New York and I just love it.

I've always wanted to make the world a more rational place. I'm still working on it.

One's own troubles can be borne with fortitude; only a monster of indifference can bear the sufferings of others with fortitude.