When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

I dreamt about you last night and woke up with such a great feeling because I know that you are not just a dream but the reality of my life. -Anonymous#romanceweek

Mind is not your brain, but mind is subtle clothing that is spread over your entire physical body and doesn’t limit itself only with the physical part of the brain.

One day I realized, I am what I'm looking for. The love I've been searching the world for. When I devoutly love myself it's fulfilling, and it attracts others. They fight to love me twice as much.

Whoever hates, harm.

We went about our usual routines - combat practice, volleyball practice, archery practice, strawberry-picking practice (don't ask), lava-wall-climbing practice ... You'll find we practice a lot here.

No god will spare you forgiveness for loving me.

The surest thing about me is that I will change my mind.

[Saddam Hussein is aggressively seeking nuclear and biological weapons and ] the United States may well become the target.

I full well realize that politics is a rough and tumble business, but politics should not be reduced to lobbing partisan hand grenades. Politics is not war. Terrorism is.

Life is really fun, if only we gave it a chance.