When I was young I never believed that Australia was anything else except blessed. I thought it was a little dull when I was young, but that was 'cause I was a snob.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

The heart is a generous muscle.

Religion is never the problem it's the people who use it to gain power.

In the land of the dying, sentences go unfinished, you know how they're going to end.

If I thought that any of this was pre ordained, then it takes away any kind of incentive to struggle, or to put up with things, to reach for those impossible dreams, all those dramatic things.

This is what it is the business of the artist to do. Art is theft, art is armed robbery, art is not pleasing your mother.

The facts are facts and records are records.

I always wanted my mother to be Queen for a Day. I always used to watch that show that came on television.

I'd like to find whoever taught the Stump that extra work builds character and push him down the stairs," Neal told Kel at lunch.

I think my life in general, like that of any human being, has highs and lows, has moments of great light and moments of great darkness.