When I left college, I was out of work for three years. I had this dream of being on 'SNL,' and that was all I could imagine.

I don't know if I'd call myself a prodigy, but I was a big forensics competitor in high school, and then during college I spent some time working at speech and debate camps as a coach.

I'm unfortunately very verbose too often.

I do have a dirty sense of humor.

When you have a kid, it changes your life. It reminds you, this is my life now: I'm responsible for this tiny person. It's so surreal.

Hollywood is the kind of place that takes what you do well in one thing and manufactures it so the joy can be taken out of it.

I love polarizing people.

I was trained as a straight dramatist.

In real life, Josh [Gad] is a different kind of lovable idiot. In real life, he's a much filthier idiot. He has a dirty sense of humor.

I was like a Borscht Belt comedian trapped in the body of a 6-year-old. I was channeling Jackie Mason at 7.

I certainly never imagined 80-year-olds singing along, like they were watching Cats. I'm fascinated by that kind of pop cultural zeitgeist that it's attached itself to.

Liberty! -- Electric word!

You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.

We are always in a hurry to be happy...; for when we have suffered a long time, we have great difficulty in believing in good fortune.

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.

Blueness doth express trueness.

She pulls away, pats me on the shoulder with three mini-pats, like those used to pet reptiles.

He passes, struck by the stare of truculent Wellington but in the convex mirror grin unstruck the bonham eyes and fatchuck cheekchops of Jollypoldy the rixdix doldy.

The whole secret of the teacher's force lies in the conviction that men are convertible.

The secret to winning is constant, consistent management.

I always equate wrestling to having been in the Marine Corps.