Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a blind date and then we got married.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

They say that it's a crazy world out there. I don't mind contributing by a bit of madness myself.

When two lovers discover a language of their own.

Don't search dreams in the sky, they need strong footage on the earth.

Still, how I nearly felt. In the midst of all that looking.

If they would all sleep all the time she wouldn't mind being their mother.

In war, the key to victory is the ability to surprise one's opponent.

There is only one way to come into this world; there are too many ways to leave it.

It is excellent discipline for an author to feel that he must say all that he has to say in the fewest possible words, or his readers is sure to skip them.

We need to be confident. We need not to blink.

Children of a culture born in a water-rich environment, we have never really learned how important water is to us. We understand it, but we do not respect it.