We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Better to honor the pinch of fear than regret the punch of fang.

Just like sunshine affects others, when the life of Jesus invades your life, you become a loving person. The effect on others is amazing.

I always think I look better after a yoga class. It's the same as a massage. We look so amazing after a massage because we're relaxed.

I hate when I get a script and I can't see who the people are.

In the midst of the disguises and artifices that reign among men, it is only attention and vigilance that can save us from surprises.

I want to be a Texan 24 hours a day.

There's a weird period of learning how to play guitar where your fingers are constantly messed up a handful.

My beautiful son... I can't wait to see his face, hug him, and spend time with him.

Exercise and writing are so therapeutic to me. I try to write every day and I make it a huge priority to find time to work out, even if that means taking a spin class at 7am before work.

Beauty has nothing to do with the size you wear. It has to do with what's in your heart.