Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

The trouble was, love was such a strong emotion. It made everything else unimportant. It grabbed you and imprisoned you in the moment."Deathsworn Arc 4: The Temple of the Mad God

Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror.

When fortune flatters, she does it to betray.

I have known a German Prince with more titles than subjects, and a Spanish nobleman with more names than shirts.

There are many roads to prosperity, but one must be taken. Inaction leads nowhere.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

The goal of yesterday will be our starting-point to-morrow.

Orthodox chanting is non-emotional, it's very monotone.

It's very important to feel foreign. I was born in England, but when I'm being a writer, everyone in England is foreign to me.