To grow old is to grow remorseful.

If the Republican Party shifts to the right, how will we know?

I'm a huge Obama fan. I think it's such an unbelievably great thing to have a President who's competent and not insane.

It only says 'Leave' if you have no identification with yourself as a citizen of this country and you feel you have no obligation to pay your fair share.

A poet should be so crafty with words that he is envied even for his pains.

Religion can only do two things for mankind turn them into monster or stupid.

Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect

I don't rely on my figure to sell records.

I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.

I owe Bankhead a gift; she made a director out of me.

Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

You have to have a lifestyle if you live in LA, otherwise it's deadly.

Leave people alone when they tell you to leave them alone. If they mean it, they need it.

The path of increase is slow, but the road to ruin is rapid.