There is no country in the world where machinery is so lovely as in America.

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Everyone may not be good, but there's always something good in everyone. Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

My parents grew up during the space race, and I think they imagined the future would be us living on moon bases and everyone has rocket shoes.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

If I am feeling broken, I can pick up one of [Ivy Compton-Burnett] books and the next morning I can write again. It puts my mechanism back.

How little inventiveness there is in man, Grave copier of copies.

Life without Liberty is like a body without spirit. Liberty without thought is like a disturbed spirit.

Either you will do now what it takes or ten years from now you wish that you had.

The sad rhyme of the men who proudly clung To their first fault, and withered in their pride.

I've always kind of done exactly what my instincts said.