The show has to be good because you want to be good. But if it's not good, it doesn't matter.

I've given my phone number to the weirdest people. I get texts from people all the time.

I'm at the stage in my life that real-estate apps turn me on.

I was supposed to be a professional rollerblader!

I would have liked to be a comedian in the '20s, or maybe even a comedian on the Mayflower and have a statue somewhere.

There are way too many comedians now.

There's nothing worse than a poorly staged house.

When you're filming something, you have marks and spots you have to be in.

I think a lot of comedians sometimes pretend to find the job more taxing than it is.

He never went to war, yet he emerged from the smog and shadows victorious.

That tingle in the brain is called a word.It bats itself against its fleshy bounds.

Do you know we are being led toSlaughters by placid admirals& that fat slow generals are gettingObscene on young bloodDo you know we are ruled by t.v.

Procastination is not about not doing is about not doing and feeling crappy.

No scheme pays as well as legitimate business.

I yearn for that livin' large, but mama I ain't done yet/Sit back and watch your son rise, kick back and know your son set

Never criticize the composition of a Royal Highness. You never know who may have written it.

In fact, .. Jesus is mentioned 75 times in the Koran.

If you try to turn me against Lissa one more time the stories are going to be about you bleeding because I'll have ripped your throat out!

Nature does require her time of preservation, which perforce, I her frail son amongst my brethren mortal, must give my attendance to.