The rich swell up with pride, the poor from hunger.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.

You see how it is, my dear friends. There's no pleasing everyone. It's hopeless to even try, and the more you play the peacemaker, the less peaceful things become.

One cannot live on potatoes alone. It is said that one wants bread with potatoes. And when there's no bread, a Jew takes his stick, and goes through the village in search of business.

If you listen carefully, you get to hear everything you didn't want to hear in the first place.

Gossip is nature's telephone.

If somebody tells you you have ears like a donkey, pay no attention. But if two people tell you, buy yourself a saddle.

Without love our life is ... a ship without a rudder ... like a body without a soul.

You can take a Jew out of a shtetl, but you cannot take a shtetl out of a Jew.

A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.

Be open to surrendering all preconceived notions, well-thought-out plans and annual to-do lists.

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s depression. To play is to act out and be willful, exultant and committed as if one is assured of one’s prospects.

Bute coming over here is a big mistake.

Make me, o lord, thy spinning wheel complete, thy holy word thy distaff make for me.

All my children have spoken for themselves since they first learned to speak, and not always with my advance approval, and I expect that to continue in the future.

To be a novelist, all I need is a pen and a piece of paper.

Crime and punishment grow out of one stem. Punishment is a fruit that unsuspected ripens within the flower of the pleasure which concealed it.

Turn your scars into stars.

Better fare hard with good men than feast it with bad.