The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after.

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I resent my barber when he charges the full cost after he cuts my hair, but he says he's charging me for finding it.

My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. And that's why I put Don in several of my movies.

I figure you're only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I've always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog.

When a man strikes another man, he better have a good reason. There is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman.

Our greatest need is not for a better income or a more appealing body, but for salvation.

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

If not now then when? Oh I can always do it tomorrow. Unfortunately there is no lifetime of tomorrows.

Man alone is made in the image of God.

Hatred makes me energetic, but confused.

My experience working with lots of creative people is that they don't lose their artistic edge when they lose a fierce level of anguish. They just create from a different place.

The rich get richer. Not only because they have surpluses with which to invest, but because of the overriding emotional release they experience from having wealth.

One time, my mother told me that I always eat like I'll never see food again. And I said, "I won't unless I bring it home." That shut her up.

If the boy have not a woman's gift To rain a shower of commanded tears, An onion will do well for such a shift.