The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

Always take some of the play, fun, freedom and wonder of the weekend into your week & your work

Eventually we all must return home.

He was a black hole to anyone who might imagine that he or she was a friend of his.

Like a gardener I believe that what goes down must come up.

History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.

Truth comes to us mediated by human love.

Yeah I got a question: Any more excuses tonight, Roy?

Some shall reap that never sow And some shall toil and not attain.

At the time I wasn’t really familiar with Caucasians and he got me up out of that ’cause they regular people just like everybody else.

You know, I used to think I was a foodie, and then my wife went to culinary school and basically explained to me that I was just a guy that likes to eat.