The amazing thing since so many variables enter into historical judgments, is not that historians disagree but that they agree as often as they do.

History is life; he who has not lived, or has lived only enough to write a doctoral dissertation, is too inexperienced with life to write good history.

Beethoven and Liszt have contributed to the advent of long hair.

Perhaps one of the reasons I've avoided standing on the point toward the horizon is the second you stand up and point toward a horizon, you realize how much there is to lose.

You can't help everyone and most critically you can't help people who don't need you or see the value you have to offer

I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance.

I don't know what happens to you after you die. I'm not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I will kick you in the nuts and you will smile and like it.

When you're editing, you want to be the perfect appreciator, not another writer.

If we want to kill Obamacare and we want to end socialized medicine, it must be done in the next election!

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

I grew up in a dictatorship in East Africa.