Swords can’t solve every problem.

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies

Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!

We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.

Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.

Percy is the most powerful demigod I've ever met. No offense to you guys but it's true.

Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.

Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.

Forget the chicken-nugget smoke screen. Percy wanted Leo to invent an anti-dream hat.

Otis barreled towards them empty-handed, before apparently realizing that a) he was empty-handed and b) charging towards a large body of water to fight a son of Poseidon was maybe not a good idea.

It always seems as though the definition of love will remain debatable by an opinionated world.

Belief attracts something

Truth is something you stumble into when you think you're going some place else.

Psychaiatrist realize that there are curative powers in confession.

As we all know, too much of any divine thing is destruction

Mother's love outlives everything

There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow.

In a world awash in debt, power shifts to creditors.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

If you are really great, you will let others discover this fact from your actions.