Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

It is an insult to live in the fear of darkness.

Are you going to last if I start nibbling at your ankles and work my way up?" "No. You might make it to my knee, but only if I think about starving children and venereal warts.

poets. have the toughest jobin the universe-of turning silenceinto eloquence.

The more people you help and the more value you create, the more your business will fly - and the quicker you'll win.

"Chocolate mustache" is from a line in the book. It's my favorite title (chosen by me), so I'm pleased that Never Spit was tossed.

A small pepperoni pizza on a tortilla is healthier than salmon teriyaki with rice and carrots.

Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.

Fancy tortures more people than does reality

People must be protected from prejudice against their person. But people cannot be protected from prejudice against their ideas - because otherwise we're all done.

Is Chris Rock still gonna host the Oscars after this blatant racism?? Is everyone still gonna show up??